The online dating world is too large and ripe with low-hanging fruit to ignore.  Follow a few easy steps and you’ll separate yourself from the other 3 billion guys online.

The Times They Are A-Changing

There is one dating scene growing like no other, and you really can’t afford to ignore it.

I’m talking about online.

Sure, there was a time when it was reserved for sci-fi conventioneers, the ludicrously shy and the hideously deformed.  That time is gone.

Truth is, EVERYONE is getting into it.  You can find models and actresses in the online personals, or a kinky dominatrix.  Normal girls, skinny girls, nerdy girls, intellectual heavyweights – really, there isn’t a type of person that ISN’T doing it anymore.

Most of that is the expansion of the internet from a forum for Star Trek debates to a tool used by everyone.  A good bit is also that online personals are have so much less pressure involved, and a better screening process than “She’s hot.”  Of course not everyone’s entirely honest – but at least if you’re into swinging, you’re not going to find yourself chatting up a girl who talks about sunsets and soul mates.

The Initial Ratios don’t look good, but…

There is a catch though – WAY more guys are online than women.  Probably because guys are hornier than women in the resting state, but also because most guys lack the balls to succeed often in face-to-face encounters, and so they turn to finger-to-eye encounters.

Don’t worry too much about these guys.  Confidence CAN travel over cables, and women still want it in their men.

So that evens the odds a little bit.  But you’ve still got to emerge from the background noise and make an impression.

Steps To Separation And Meeting

Number one, you need a photo.  Obviously, the better your photo, the better you’ll look.  And if you have a good shot of you with a hot lady, use it – this can only help.  (Remember the Seinfeld when George gets the picture of the model and tells everyone it’s his ex – and suddenly he’s having all kinds of success with beautiful women?  Well… it’s funny ‘cause it’s true.)

Number two, you CANNOT have an ordinary profile.  There’s plenty of guys who say something like “I’m an Adonis and give all my women 83 orgasms before breakfast.  Maybe you’ll be the next lucky one.”  Or say something like “I’m sweet and nice – I helped 83 old women cross the street yesterday.”  (By the way, on the Seinfeld kick, what’s the deal with helping old ladies cross the street?  Have you ever helped an old lady cross the street?  Have you ever seen anyone do it?  Is it just me, or do you think you’d either get a pocketbook upside the head or a scream and an eyeful of mace if you tried this?)

The key here isn’t to talk about all the interesting things about you – dorks rock climb in the Himalayas too – but to say things in an interesting WAY.  Be playful, funny, and a little mysterious.  Don’t list your qualities and hobbies like everyone else.  Why pigeonhole yourself?

Instead, talk real-life situational things in a funny way.  Write up your idea of a perfect date in a way that makes the girl laugh – even question if you could possibly be serious – but also say “Hmm, that would be pretty cool and exciting.”

It’s just like following one of the keys of good writing – don’t TALK ABOUT how you’ll make her feel, SHOW HER you doing it.

Example: Bad: “I’ll make you hot baby uh-huh yeah I’ve got a monster bulge lick me like a super-sized cone.”

Example: Good: “I’ll remove your bra with my teeth and use it to slingshot hot fudge on your back, which I’ll proceed to knead into you until you’re my own little sundae.”

Ok, that’d be over-the-top for a profile, but that’s the kind of attitude you want (and by the way, once you’ve warmed a girl up over chat, you can be sexual and silly just like that – a potent playful combination.)

Third, bulk.  It’d be great if you could sit down and write a personalized email for every woman out there, but on the ‘net there are just too many ladies and plenty of them are so barraged with mail they’ll never even read yours.  Craft yourself a nice playful UNUSUAL response, but make it generic enough that you can send it to lots of women.  Then do so.

Fourth, get ‘em while they’re hot.  Literally, thousands or tens of thousands of women are joining personals every week, and the newbies are most likely to read what you’re saying.  After a month, most good catches have either found themselves someone and aren’t paying attention to their profile and responses and/or they’ve gotten so much mail that it’s a nearly hopeless task to separate yourself from the other 57 guys who sent her a message that hour.  So do the majority of your shopping in the new members sections of the sites.

Fifth, Sunday.  Yep, you heard me.  I great majority of the traffic on these sites is on Sunday, which makes perfect sense when you think about it.  After all, everyone is free Sunday, and it’s usually a lazy recovery day – what better time to spend a little time online?

Combine that with the disappointment of another wasted night at the bar scene with drunk bozos slobbering on you, and a girl is in the mood to try a different tact.  Send a message on Sunday, and you’ll be on the top of the inbox – so she won’t be tired of responding to intriguing guys by the time she gets to your witty email.

Sixth, go forward quickly.  If she sends a message to you – either in response to one you sent, or from checking out your profile – that’s a big sign of interest.  Get her on chat immediately (and if you haven’t already, download one of the many clients that lets you chat on numerous networks at once – make it easy on her, have a hotmail, yahoo, aol etc account and have them all in one place on your computer.  Don’t say “See you ‘round’ but instead give her a time: ‘I’ll be chatting at 6 tomorrow, see you then.’

Seventh, use all your well-honed skills on chat.  (And if your skills aren’t honed yet, there’s no better place to practice.  She can’t see you sweat or hear you stutter, and you have plenty of time to craft a worthy response.)

Eighth, move to a meeting as fast as you can.  Chat five times without meeting, sorry buddy, you’re in the LJBCF (Let’s-Just-Be-Chat-Friends) category.  Exceptions can be made when distances are involved, but as a general rule, get coffee quick as you can.

Oh, and one more thing: make sure you see a pic before you go for the meeting.  Yes, they might not use a real one – but anyone planning to meet is unlikely to try and dupe you, as they KNOW it’ll blow up in their face quickly enough.  And you won’t waste your time with someone you’re not attracted to – most women will actually find that sort of honesty refreshing.

Then, once you’ve met, just do what you know you should already.  It’s that simple.  The key, of course, like in all other things I’ve taught, is not to be thinking about banging this chick – but just how to move on to the next step.  Get there, and you’re golden.

Derek Vitalio

Check out Derek Vitalio material:
Derek Vitalio Seduction Newsletter: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/newsletter
Get The Girlfriend: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/get-the-girlfriend
Blissnosis Master Program: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/blissnosis
Seduction Archetypes: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/archetypes
Seduction Science, 3rd Edition: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/third-edition
Seduction Science eBook: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/latest-ebook  
Deep Inner Game Series: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/third-edition

What’s the best way to pick up a woman? Stealth seduction. When she doesn’t know you’re picking her up. And you create a sense of security, comfort, and trust in your relationship. Use the techniques below, and watch women just spontaneously OPEN UP to you – and crave more.

The Psych behind it

Do you know who Milton Erickson is?

Neither did I, for a looooong time. Truth be told, though, he’s a kind of important guy. He’s the father of modern clinical hypnosis.

You know what he did? His patients weren’t even aware they were being hypnotized, yet they all had these major breakthroughs usually around a week after Erickson did his thing.

Stealth Hypnosis

Here’s how it worked.

Milton believed you need two things for hypnosis to take affect:

First, you need to create Safety and Comfort. Second, you need trust.

And Erickson achieved that in a simple way.

He’d say something like “I know that you’re concerned with your problem… and you’ve been working at it for some time now. And even though you are sitting in that chair, breathing in and out, you may start to notice how the more relaxed you allow yourself to become, the smaller your problem seems to be.”

Whoa. Let’s take another look at that, in slo-mo.

Erickson creates a feeling of safety and comfort by expressing concern about his client – which suggests he’s not going to try and hurt him.

Then, he creates a feeling of trust by making true statements.

I know that sounds crazy, and that the true statements aren’t anything special, but the important thing is that he named them and brought them from the client’s unconscious knowledge of himself and his surroundings into the conscious level. And each time he did that, the client in his mind said “Yes!”

What were the true statements?

1. The client is concerned with the problem.
   2. The client has been working on the problem.
   3. The client is sitting in a chair.
   4. The client is breathing in and out.

He wants to keep saying “Yes!”

So when Erickson moves on and says “..notice how the more relaxed you allow yourself to become, the smaller your problem seems to be.” And the client says “Yes!” And now he’s ready to be led by Erickson through various suggestions and agree with them.

He’s hypnotized.

Great, you’re thinking, just what you wanted, a psych lesson. But the truth is, this is VERY important stuff when dealing with women.

Don’t hypnotize… GUIDE

Why? I’m not saying you should break out a pocket watch and start reciting “You’re getting very sleepy…” but the truth is hypnosis isn’t nearly as mystical and difficult as the public makes it out to be.

In fact, most people are at least a little hypnotized most of the time.

Hypnosis is merely the leading of a person to a suggestion, while disengaging the logical mind.

You could even say it is a quieting of the rational mind, and a nudging of the emotional one.

And it’s very rhythmic, because humans like rhythms and patterns and will generally tend to go along with a rhythm until something disrupts it.

So when you’re getting into music, that’s a kind of hypnosis.

Watching TV, same thing (especially commercials).

Even most conversation has a cadence and a hypnotizing aspect to it.

So now, when I tell you that you should use these sorts of techniques when picking up women, you shouldn’t think you need to take a course nor twist her mind.

You should just learn to GUIDE it.

Creating the right atmosphere

So how do you create the safety and comfort? Well, to begin with, if you’re approaching a girl for the first time, DO NOT do anything usual.

No pick-up lines. No playing super-smooth. No checking her out and raising your eyebrow to your friend.

All these things stink of a cheap pick-up, and the woman will run as far away as she can. Not good.

However, if you come up to her feeling comfortable YOURSELF, that aura will rub off on her.

Second, focus on DETAILS. They don’t need to be complex, but as long as you’re introducing a truth into her consciousness – and saying something unusual – you’re pinning yourself as sensitive to the world around him (not the wimp kind of sensitive – the kind women actually like) AND different, more observational than other guys.

Creating Trust

And as you make observations that lead her to say “Yes!” in her head, she’ll grow to TRUST you.

I’m not telling you to misrepresent yourself. The best way to be trusted is to be trustworthy – if you’re not, the woman will figure it out quick enough.

But trust usually takes time to establish, and when you’re first meeting a girl, you don’t have the time. You need an IMMEDIATE positive impression.

So do what the Doctor does. Lead her with comments that make her say “Yes!” and she’s MUCH more likely to start trusting you – and to want to KEEP saying “Yes!”

Example:

“I know you don’t know me (yes), but I saw you sitting here waiting for you friend (yes) and enjoying your drink (yes), and I noticed you have a really nice aura about you. Do you work with helping people or something like that?”

Now, you’ve given her three true statements, and a fourth that is complimentary and that she’s eager to say yes to. Whatever she does, she’ll probably be quite receptive to your question, and bam, you’re into a conversation.

Keep her inner voice saying yes, and it will turn into trust. And link you with truth and, by extension, SINCERITY.

Very safe, comfortable, and secure.

Don’t be too New-Agey

Now, add in a little of that magical playfulness, and she won’t get bored (like most sincere guys make her, most of the time), and she’ll have a very warm feeling about you and WANT to keep talking.

Combine this with previous concepts we’ve talked about, and you can just about GUARANTEE you’ll have positive experiences with all the women you approach – even if they’re happily in love, they’ll still be receptive and warm.

Just avoid being boring from there on out, and you’re ready to start kicking things up notches.

This is fairly advanced and subtle, but combine it with all the basics you already know, and your responses will become PHENOMENAL.

I call this stealth seduction. Enjoy it.

Derek Vitalio

Check out Derek Vitalio material:
Derek Vitalio Seduction Newsletter: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/newsletter
Get The Girlfriend: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/get-the-girlfriend
Blissnosis Master Program: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/blissnosis
Seduction Archetypes: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/archetypes
Seduction Science, 3rd Edition: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/third-edition
Seduction Science eBook: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/latest-ebook
Deep Inner Game Series: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/third-edition